I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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