U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize