I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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