But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
