you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
