Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
