Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
