he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize