normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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