Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
