Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
