I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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