frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
