There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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