I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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