We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She is in my trunk
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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