Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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