called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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