Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
