I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This is my gift to your gina
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
