sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
