when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
