last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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