My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
