I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I have surprise drugs for everyone
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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