Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
