i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
