I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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