I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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