yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
