she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Who died my cat blue again?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
