she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
