Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize