I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
