Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
