I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
