using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
