break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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