If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
