You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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