Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
