He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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