im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
