OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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