I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wish my penis had a tongue
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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