I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize