OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt