if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!