Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
