jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just google imaged poop.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
