Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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