I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
