Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
