elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He felt like a one man threesome
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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