There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
