and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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