god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize