hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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