Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
